Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Dealing with the loss of a child or loved one

When it comes to the loss of a loved one or a child there is nothing in life can prepare you for such a loss. Sadly I have faced this kind of a loss twice; the first happened in January of 2009 when my wife and I were ready to welcome our new baby girl into the world when we lost her to stillbirth due to complications that arose during the 36th week of my wife’s pregnancy. You could only imagine how heart breaking it can be when you are only a few weeks away from welcoming your child into the world, when you find yourself surrounded by nurses who are desperately trying to find your babies heartbeat, only to be told that the unthinkable has happened. Nothing really prepares you for such a devastating loss. Sadly my wife and I have faced this same situation twice as exactly one year later when we tried again we lost our second baby girl to stillbirth. This left us both devastated and heart broken. I now know first hand that nothing in life can really prepare you for the loss of a child or a loved one. This kind of loss can hit you hard especially when it comes unexpectantly - but I guess it really doesn't matter if you are prepared or not as the loss of a child or loved one can
turn your life upside down.

It’s in these times when you learn how important your family and friends truly are. To be honest without the support of our family and friends during this time I really don't know how we would have been able to get through it. The one thing I was most thankful for was how fast our family rushed to be by our side at the hospital both times while we were going through such a difficult time. They were there through it all and after we arrived home from the hospital various family members & friends were there to comfort us by preparing meals and checking up on us while we were grieving this devastating loss. I am sure if you have ever lost a child or a loved one that you can relate to the times when you just broke down and cried. This happened quite often for us and I remember many occasions when my wife and I would wake up in tears in the middle of the night. It truly was the hardest thing we ever had faced in our lives. I guess shedding tears is just a part of the grieving process and I have to admit that I have never cried so much in my life - sometimes to the point that  I
could hardly breathe.
The truth is you never really get over this kind of a loss. Even today there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss my two baby girls. Sometimes I find myself looking back thinking about what could have been and what my life would be like now if they had never passed away. These moments usually arrive at certain times throughout the year and include Mother’s Day and Father’s Day for obvious reasons. It's these special day’s that only help to remind us of what we have lost. At times I find it extremely hard especially when I see parents spending time with their children; I just hope they really know how lucky they truly are. The truth is no one really ever gets over the loss of a child or a loved one you just have to go on living your life without them and that can be difficult part. As I grow older it tends to get a bit easier to accept but there is no doubt I will always miss my two baby girls who we chose to name Bella & Eva. If there is one thing I have learned over the last few years it's that family & friends play a vital role when it comes to grieving the loss of a loved one or a child.

1 comment:

  1. I'm terribly sorry for your loss. My condolences to your family. May you find strength in family and friends. I provide these sympathy poems to console your loss.